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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that\'s ok because you\'ll be a mile away from him and you\'ll have his shoes.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
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Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It\'s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
The truth is more important than the facts.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
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I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
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The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
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Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
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An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
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What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
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Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
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A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
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If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
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Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
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Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
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People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
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A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
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I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
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A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
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You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
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If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/16/(Mon) 16:41
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